An Explosion of Thought

After hearing the heartbreaking news yesterday morning of the loss of a wonderful, beautiful and hilarious friend, I've spent much of yesterday and this morning lost in thought.

There are so many reasons why in my human mind I can feel like screaming at the Lord... and to be honest, I spent some time in just that state. And I am thankful that we live for a God who loves us in-spite of ourselves, that He gives us time to grieve in our own way, that I can be confused, heartbroken and weak and He's still there for me. What a Father!

But after I committed to pray a prayer of thanksgiving over her life and the impact she made while she was here, every time those thoughts came.. my heart began to change.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways My ways,”
            declares the LORD.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
  so are My ways higher than
          your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

This is the verse my mind wandered to.

My thoughts make sense to me.. (confusion, anger, questions) but am I greater than God? The one who hung the moon, holds the stars in the sky and is the creator of ALL things under the sun... HE is the one who tells me that His way is perfect, He makes no mistakes, His back never turns from us, He is faithful. To doubt Him is to put His knowledge beneath our own.. to put Him "below us" so to speak. To say, "The Creator of the Universe doesn't know! He's wrong about this! I know better!"

How arrogant am I? Do I consider myself so great? So wise? To put down the LORD of the NATIONS?

 So today I trust in that fact. That the Lord's love and mercy and justice and peace is greater than mine. That its greater than what I think is right, makes sense and seems best. That He knows the whole story, while I can only see a glimpse of it. He is the author and we are just words on a page...

Thank you Lord for the life of Bethany Roebuck Etheridge. Thank you for allowing our town to be blessed by the Roebuck family and their example of love, laughter and Godly ways. Her short time here on earth was not wasted and we thank you for that. She was a woman who I know you are excited to have home. Her life impacted so many people and I thank you for the opportunity to have known her.

Please watch over all of us still in the grieving process, heal our hearts, mend our faith. Specifically lift up and bring peace to her families, her husband and little Luke.